In light of my frustration with our legislature, I've decided to take over Hawaii using an army of transgenic lemur cyborgs. The first person to sign up as a general gets Molokai. A few things that will be changing:
1. Congress will be replaced by a meritocratic assembly of the island's best programmers and transgenic lemur cyborgs. The current congress will be bronze coated in amusing positions and placed in Bishop Museum.
2. The meaning of TLC will be changed from "Tender Loving Care" to "Transgenic Lemur Cyborg"
3. The meaning of "sexy" and "geeky" will be reversed.
4. There will be a constitutional amendment making UTF8 our state's official encoding.
5. Lanai will be set aside as a sanctuary for ring-tailed lemurs, sifaka, loris, wombats and other animals that amuse us.
6. There will be no GE tax on computers, lab equipment, energy drinks and frozen yoghurt.
7. Our official language will be changed to an ultra-geeky form of Japonic pidgin Esperanto.
8. To address the high cost of living, we will send six brave soldiers to annex Canada. This land will be known henceforth as Eastern Hawaii.
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